Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Webn8, I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy this. Everyone else might, too...

If GM had advanced at the same rate as Windows...

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


WebN8 said...

LOL, that's probably my favorite microsoft joke! Bill asked for that dissing GM if you ask me...... :-P

Allegra said...

Well, Mac DID make it in there, too, you might notice... :P Yup, it is a good one! Gosh, I agree with you about Mr. Gates. Can you say D to the ork? :D

Josh said...

LOL that was hillarious

Anonymous said...

Lol, I love it. That's as good as the one about if all the computer companies made toasters. The one for sony was something like "a toaster that would fit in your pocket and toast 40 pieces of bread in 3 seconds". :p

This is Connor BTW, I couldn't figure out how to make it show my name.

Allegra said...


Glad to hear you enjoyed it. I love the one about Sony!!! That's great...

If you don't have a blog on blogspot, this site won't let you sign on as anyone other than anonymous, I don't believe. Don't know how N8 managed to get his name on there. I'll mess around with the controls and *hopefully* make things better. :D

Thanks for visiting and commenting!