I feel. That is not a unique observation. I am a human, thus I feel. I have been created in the image of God, thus I feel the emotions that He has created, albeit not perfectly, for I am in no way a perfect being yet.
…Yet. In that one word, there is promise. There is hope for something greater one day. But that day is not today.
…And so I long. I do not fully know WHAT I long for, but that does not mean I can not long. It does not mean that because I do not understand what I feel, I cannot experience that feeling. Sometimes I wonder: Are feelings meant to be understood? Can we really go through and analyze why someone falls in love? Or am I falling prey to today’s worldview (Post-Modernism) that we cannot know anything?
Today we went to the library. I hate doing nothing, and unfortunately, that is what I was doing a large portion of the time. However, I did get The God Who Is There by Francis A. Schaeffer, a book by Lee Strobel, and some other classics on tape so that maybe I will actually LISTEN to them!
Back to Schaeffer’s book. I am fascinated by the concept of our worldview. Not that I am a scholar on the subject by any means. Other members of my own family have done more research and thought more about it. But it is interesting to think that we Christians are still very much of the world, whether we are aware of it or not.
But I do not wish to talk about Post-Modernism or any other worldviews tonight. I wish simply to say this: I long for that which I do not know. I have this deep ache, sadness, that I am missing out on something that I have not yet found. Perhaps it is heaven. But it is rather a burden. I wonder how many people are filled with sadness at the thought of (is it heaven?) something far, far away.