Monday, April 07, 2008

Well, it is time. Time for another update in the life of Allegra. Hmm... Not a whole lot going on, but I shall share. Perhaps my dear readers will share the latest happenings in their lives as well? (HINT-HINT-HINT)

Umm... Yeah. Definitely. So Dia and I had the ACT yesterday. I bombed the math part. I was silly and didn't answer all the questions before our time was up. Oy vey. It was impossible, though, for anyone less than a genius. (Which, I happen to know, I am not.) We had 60 minutes for 60 questions. If you do the math, that means you have approximately 1 minute/question. That's too little for the average population.

Had a math quiz today, on which I got 90%. That always makes me happy. Makes up for the 0% I got by missing a quiz, thanks to a speech and debate tournament.

We're celebrating a friend's 15th birthday tomorrow night. That will be fun too. Our school is having prom this Saturday, but we signed up too late (loooooong story....), and I'd really like to go to another dance with cool people I know better. We shall see what God has in store, though.

What are the key elements in a romantic relationship? I believe it is three-fold. Feel free to disagree and/or discuss.

1. Trust. Trust is essential to ANY relationship. I've managed to wreck the trust given me by my parents and other loved ones several times, and let me tell you, it is NOT fun. Be open and honest with the people you love. Even if it means telling them stuff that is hard. I'm still rather a chicken and don't say as much as I probably should sometimes. It's a fine balance between saying too much (a.k.a. something like "I hate your guts!" when I'm particularly mad and/or the other person is particularly odious at that moment--I know--never!!!), and saying too little (a.k.a. not telling my parents, "I'd love some breathing room...")

2. Being willing to give and ask for forgiveness. When the one you love says something particularly nasty and biting (and trust me--for me, it isn't hard for anyone to say something that hurts me...I'm working on that still), you need to be willing to forgive them. Whole-heartedly. Not begrudgingly. If you truly love them, forgiveness is always possible.

When I am particularly evil, say stuff that would make a sailor blush, or am just insensitive to others' needs, I need to ask the other person's forgiveness. The other person may say something cruel in return, but if I started it, I need to accept the fact that they were simply responding, and take the responsibility for the argument on my shoulders.

There are times when I am pretty sure I was not the party who did wrong. At least, I didn't START it... :P But still, taking the blame and asking forgiveness for my part in the argument/disagreement is huge. It's a really good lesson for me, because I like to prove how I'm right and the other person is wrong. I'm always right, or didn't you know? ;)

3. Finally, good communication. I'm not very good at this one. Isn't it funny how you can be talking to someone, and all of the sudden you wonder what you just said? Or maybe it doesn't happen to anyone else... When I put my mind in auto-pilot or am seeking self-satisfaction, my words never enrich anyone. The opposite, however, is telling the other party how you feel so that they know what's going on with you. This is important. If you have a problem with the other person, something that's been bugging you, TELL THEM!!!!! Get it out in the open, in a kind manner, and discuss it. It's amazing what this does.

I need to go clean my room, do dishes, math homework, English homework, etc., but I leave you with that to chew on. Thanks for taking the time to read it!

God bless you!



Mark Watson said...

That's so sad you're missing prom.

Do you really hate my guts? Is there something you're not telling me, dear? :-P

Allegra said...

Well, hopefully other things can make up for it. I am sad to be missing it too. Dressing up can be so fun...

Hey, I wasn't saying I hated your guts! I'm making hasty generalizations. And yes, there are times when I get frustrated with you. Shall we have a fight where everyone can see? :P

Matthew said...

I love the blog's new look! It seems so much more orderly than the last one, and more elegant as well.

Those one-minute questions are the hardest, aren't they? I've never taken the ACT, but I don't think I finished any of the math sections on the SAT.

I'm not really savvy about this romantic relationship stuff, but assuming it works just like other relationships, I might venture to add a couple of thoughts. For point 1, I think the key to trust (in the sense you're talking about) is not saying the right amount, but being willing to say anything, as long as it's said at the right time in the right way and it's true. (i.e. Yelling "You're a liar" probably breaks down trust, but saying "I don't think you were honest and I'm feeling angry about it" is fosters openness.) And I might add a point 4: humor. I've always been the kind of person that broods and over-analyzes. Mark always reminds me (non-verbally) that life is not an epic, and taking things too seriously is usually a waste of emotion.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Thanks so much for your insights, Matthew!

I'm glad you like the new layout. It's amazing how even someone as unskilled as I in web design can mess with a blog, thanks to hosts like Blogger. Is Wordpress the same?

Yeah, the 1-minute questions are killer. I just feel bad because even if I couldn't have possibly answered all the questions in that amount of time, I think they take points OFF for not answering the questions at all. That would really stink. Oh well. There is still the SAT, and I liked the PSAT last year.

I'm not trying to say with this post that I know much about romantic relationships or that I'm good at them (or relationships in general). But is interesting to note from how people (sometimes even me) mess up, and why it is that it happened.

I agree with you about yelling something versus trying to discuss it, if you will. And I think that when you yell "You're a liar!", it is not out of love most of the time. It's usually out of the flesh that we quarrel with others and yell.

I think Mark is good for both of us. :) I tend to want to over-analyze stuff too (although I rarely do a good job of it...I still try. :P). Perhaps it's part of being an eldest child. And being analytical has its benefits. Humor and analysis balance each other. (Perhaps I'm using the wrong word, but I hope I'm getting my point across.)

I agree that humor is essential. If it's all serious, we miss the fun things in life. And God didn't make life to be all work and no play, if that makes sense.

So yes, thank you for number 4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate it!

~Allegra, posting as her alter-ego

Anonymous said...

Oops! It's been a while since I've visited!
I don't want to be the religious freak, but I really think number 1 in a relationship should be a Healthy, strong, relationship with God.

Sarah B said...

Now that school is out... maybe you can take after your sister and start updating more frequently. ;)

Love ya!