I have two questions for you, and then you can get on to the interesting stuff. First, does anyone have an absolutely beautiful definition of "abolish"? I'm looking at definitions of "abolish" in the context of this year's NCFCA resolution: Resolved: that NATO (the North Atlantic Treaty Organization) should be significantly reformed or abolished. Second, should I download Picasa for pictures? It looks interesting, but...
One of my friends sent this to me, and I thought everyone should have a chance to see it. The thing itself wasn't as funny as the comments that he (? I'm assuming he put in the comments) put at the end of each label.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer - "Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a bag of Fritos - "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap - "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners - "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom) - "Do not turn upside down."
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron - "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine - "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid - "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(And...I'm taking this because???...)
On most brands of Christmas lights - "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor - "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts - "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts - "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume - "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw - "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Oh my gosh...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
I loved the one about the children's cough medicine. What about you?