Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow...AACK!!! Tomorrow begins the Centennial State IE (Individual Events) Qualifier here in Colorado. I am excited and worried. Excited because 1) tomorrow evening is a dance, which I hope will be a lot of fun and really special and 2) speech is fun to do. Worried because I don't feel ready for either of the events I'm entered in - Duo Interpretation with Esther (we're doing The Tale of Samuel Whiskers, by Beatrix Potter) and Extemporaneous Speaking (current events...blech). Whenever I try to force myself to write deep, philosophic things, I usually end up ranting about something that no one cares about, including myself, so I shall stop for today. However, I do ask that you pray for us as we participate in this competition and do the dance tomorrow evening. We truly need God's blessings this weekend. Thanks!

Stillness

Silence. An agonizing stillness. tortured nerves. It always amazes me how God turns these times of misery into something so wonderful, something that words don't fully express beyond "a peace that passes all understanding". Today, after lots of things happening this week, I was able to settle down, but it wasn't rest-inducing. If anything, it created mass mayhem in my mind because I was finally able to hear my thoughts...

My thoughts tend to jump around a lot, except when I'm obsessing, which I was doing. I was thinking too much about one certain person, and it was making me totally miserable. I began to be jealous, frustrated with myself, etc. Finally, while the rest of my family was watching Chicken Little (an okay movie, by the way, although I prefer Cars & Madagascar), God basically tapped me on the shoulder & suggested that I read His Word. Wow! What a concept!

After reading His Word, admitting I'd rather be obsessing, and praying about it, He truly gave me joy, peace & strength. It's incredible what time with God will do. So often I feel like I'm communicating with a brick wall, yet He keeps answering prayer. Guess I need to pray more! But really: isn't God great, folks?

Marriage: The Path to Happiness or Holiness?

Is marriage about happiness or holiness? I often see it as a way to achieve the happiness I do not have at home with the people in my family. I have been created with this desire for romance, for excitement, and for true love. Somehow I think this will all be attained in marriage.

Any married people reading this are probably laughing right now. "She's REALLY got her head in the clouds, doesn't she?" you may be asking. Yeah, actually it's in the stars, but...

Marriage is a beautiful thing. God created it, and God created all things well. However, sin makes things ugly and disfigured. So how can marriage be more about making people holy? Well, we have to learn how to deal with another human being who is even closer to us than anyone else before (hopefully). We have to learn how to put up with their faults, work with them, and love them.

It seems impossible after a while. After seeing the multiple arguments that my parents get into, the ways they misunderstand each other, the ways they work together, and the ways they manage to raise kids and not kill them in the process, PLUS growing spiritually, convinces me that there is something more. Some Higher Power enables them to do what they do and do it well.

Marriage is about making people holy, not making them happy.

"Purpose? What purpose?"

I've been struggling with this question of purpose recently. And I know so many of us do, because books such as "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren are snatched up as soon as they come off the press. Why? Because we all want to know that our lives have value--that we have a purpose for living here on earth besides the everyday monotony of school or work or whatever else occupies our time.

As a Christian, I cannot help but come back to one conclusion, which comes from the Westminister Shorter Catechism, which I learned as a very young child:

Q: What is man's chief end? A: Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever!

I told Dad last night about this incredibly revelation, and he simply said he couldn't remember the exact quote, but that C.S. Lewis had once said that life is about finding that the trite truths really are true. For example, we can sing "Jesus Loves Me" in Sunday School, but if we go to our deathbeds and have discovered that the following saying is true, then we have indeed learned to live:

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

These truths are so crucial and so simple. I often wonder at God's marvellous patience that He does not bonk us on the head with a 2X4 and say, "duh! Don't you get it?" and pound it into our skulls. As Dad likes to point out: the Holy Spirit is truly a gentleman. He will not force himself upon us. We must learn to listen to Him.

I'd love to look more into this subject of purpose and maybe write an Original Oratory on the subject for next year's speech and debate tournament (no, school never is far from my mind), so if you have any thoughts or comments or questions, PLEASE feel free to comment!